Lunch dates aren't what they used to be

I love lunch dates. There is a glamorous appeal to it, being out and about, leisurely enjoying a lunch and conversation while they rest of the world is busy rushing back to work. If you're being especially crazy you can even have a drink. Ah yes, lunch dates....

I look back fondly at the time when that is what lunch dates were like. Truthfully, I think of them longingly and wonder if there will ever be a such thing again. Two kids and a new job title of "Mom", lunch dates now are much different.

After rain canceled plans I had with a long-time friend, we had the crazy notion that a lunch date would be fun. With five children. In public. Crazy? Obviously. I blame it on my desperate need for adult conversation. Not only did we decide to go to lunch, but to go to an actual restaurant where you had to give your order to a server from an actual menu. No light up menu boards and flashy kids meal toys for us.

For having so many young children, the lunch itself went pretty well. (It may have helped that we let them run around in the questionably clean indoor playground at the mall first.) It did not, however, resemble the lunch dates from days of ol'. Get all the kids out of car seats, through the maze of tables (making sure that none are joining the first table with food), herd them into a booth and strap the little ones down- check. Pass out menus and open crayons-check. We made it in. Success. Now the fun begins. Order drinks and convince them to pick something somewhat nutritious from the menu. Get drinks passed out and not spill any much. Order food and nurse baby (who is tearing the blanket off because she hates to be covered while she eats) while convincing the others that food would come soon. Start a conversation and then get interrupted with endless questions. Give instruction to sit down. No, not on the table, on the bench. Pass out food. Pacify the baby. Pass out more food. Eat a little and try to pick back up the conversation but can't remember what you were talking about. Start new conversation. Get interrupted because someone is putting dirty hands on someone else. Hand another fork to the baby so she can continue to eat. Clean messy hands. Wipe faces. Realize you left the plates too close, move them, then clean hands again. Successfully pay the bill (and over-tip for the mess/noise) and herd the children back out being somewhat careful not to leave any behind.

Did we have lunch or run a marathon? I sat in a booth with three children between my friend and I on one side and two babies strapped into high chairs on the other. I think we had to shout to hear each other but probably didn't notice because the majority of our conversation was tending to children.

I think coming out with our sanity and all our children was a great feat. In fact I think it's worthy of a prize. Something like a lunch date. And a drink. And a babysitter.