Good Distractions

So much has happened since I last posted that I can't wait to share. It has been such an adventure moving into and renovating our first home!

We FINALLY got internet (and cable, but that's a rant for another day) and the first thing my sister sad to me was, "what's your first post going to be about?"
 

I love that she reads, and I think genuinely likes reading my blog, and she's fully aware that we have completed many projects I could share but the reality is I've been too distracted to post.
 

Distracted by endless projects needing finished, distracted by the hole in my bedroom floor that small children would love to throw everything they own down, distracted by keeping up on the day-to-day through this process, by infinite blog posts I'm catching up on, by beautiful projects others are creating, but mostly...distracted by life.
 

Distracted by these two sweet little faces, who seem to particularly love their mama as of late.

Light Plate Memories

As our move date gets closer and our house grows emptier I'm starting to feel a little sad to leave this place that has been our home for the past few years. We are ecstatic to move on to our dream of owning our own home and having property, but there are so many memories we have made here that I want to hold on to.

As a way of holding on to those memories and leaving a little history with the house, I decided to write a few of these memories on the back of the light switch covers. Who knows if anyone will come across these memories or feel the importance of them that I do, but perhaps they will. Perhaps they too will make memories in this home worth sharing.


In the entry:

This is the place where we became a family:
April 2009-July 2013

In the living room:

This is the place our children took their first steps,

 many Christmas presents were opened, and where

 we enjoyed the company of our friends and family.

In the kitchen:

This is the place we unpacked our wedding gifts,
enjoyed many meals together,
and celebrated many birthdays.

In the laundry room:

This is the place where our children had their play house,

 many books were read, pretend meals were made

 on tiny stoves, and many of their memories will be.

The bathroom:

This is the place many boo-boos were kissed
and bubble-covered babies splashed in the tub.

 The children's room:

This is the place where babies were rocked

 to sleep to the tune 'You Are My Sunshine,'

 tiny dreams were dreamed,

 and many castles were built.

Master bedroom:

This is the place where I spent much time
during the early days of my pregnancies,
where little ones found refuge after bad dreams,
and where many pillow fights occurred.




Disclaimer: My husband had no part in this. He would feel it was defacing property and over sharing :) Good thing he doesn't read my blog!

How To Tell Your Husband He's Going To Be A Dad

I intended to write this yesterday but we got caught up in the festivities of Father's Day (that or I wrestled children to bed much later than usual and I'm claiming it was festivities)

I was reflecting back on the day I told the husband he was going to be a dad and thought it would be a good story to share for Father's Day.

Shortly after we were married I got baby fever. It was probably a combination of nannying a young girl and watching entirely too much TLC's  A Baby Story, but regardless of the cause I had it bad. The husband was... well lets just say much less enthusiastic about it.

After watching a weeks worth of episodes in which people had difficultly conceiving or couldn't at all I became terrified I wouldn't be able to have children. (I don't know where it stems from, but I have always had this fear that if I wanted something too badly it wouldn't happen. There were many things I wouldn't dare speak aloud our of fear of jinxing it.) I shared this fear with the husband who rolled his eyes and thought nothing more of it.

Being the person I am, I started googling any information on conception, pregnancy, and child birth. I decided that I should start tracking my ovulation, just in case I could convince the husband it was a grand idea we decided we wanted to start what was sure to be a long process of conceiving.

Months went by and many things happened. We help care for an ailing grandparent who passed away, followed shortly by the caring for and passing of another. My husband was very close to his grandparents and it was a very trying time. We spent many hours mourning the lost, fighting seasonal sickness ourselves, and getting things in order with the grandparents estate. Little thought was given to any of our own plans.

One morning in early March I woke in bed next to a sleeping husband in a panic. The events following went a little something like this:

I should have started my period this morning! What to do?? Umm, think... I'm house sitting for the people I nanny for, she has a pregnancy test. Don't use the bathroom yet, everything you read says the most accurate read is first thing in the morning.

Holy crap it's hard to not pee in the morning and then get out in the cold and drive across town to go pee on a stick. That's ok, it's not a long drive, you'll make it.

Shuffling through the drawers I realized I was mistaken. Those were not pregnancy tests, they were ovulation tests. Crap!

Back in the cold car I started towards the closest store. Briskly walking through the isles I found nothing and the cashier looked at me as if I were some scandalous teenager when I asked if they carried them. What kind of store doesn't carry pregnancy tests? No worries though because there is a Family Dollar next door.

This time I skipped looking myself and went straight for the register. Oddly enough that's where they were kept (who  knew stealing pregnancy tests was such a big issue) so I snatched one and headed home.

About 3 minutes later I stared in disbelief at a positive test and ran outside to make a secret phone call to the only person it seemed appropriate to call, my friend Lindsey. After a brief freak out I was convinced it must have been wrong, after all it was a store brand pregnancy test, obviously not to be trusted.

About that time the husband woke up. In shock and disbelief I decided that I wasn't going to say a word to anyone until I knew for certain. We went on about our day, running errands and moving furniture into my sisters house. I tried a couple of times to disappear and sneak off to the drug store to get a legit pregnancy test (you know, from a brand that I recognized.... maybe 2 of them) but I couldn't shake my sister. After a few tries I gave up and took her with me, letting her in on the secret on the way.

Hiding in her bathroom the second test confirmed what the first test had said so I did what anyone would do. I sent my husband home to play his new video game. If I had a hard time accepting the news I could only imagine what the husband would need to do to process the information.

Ready to share the news I went home where I presented the husband with a six pack of beer with one bottle replaced by a baby bottle. Once he noticed it he made the confused guy look.

Husband: "What is this? A bottle?"
Me: "No a baby."
Husband: "A baby bottle?"
Me: "No a baby."
Husband: "A baby?"
Me: "Yep, your baby. (long silence) I'm pregnant."

He sat playing his video game, drinking his beer for about an hour before he even said a word.

I think I must have peed on at least 6 pregnancy test of 3 different brands before we were both thoroughly convinced that we were in fact going to be parents. After the shock wore off we were really excited to start the adventure of parenthood.



Looking back on the story, it feels like lifetime ago. I knew before we were ever married what a great dad he would be, but I couldn't have imagined how much the man who needed to play a couple games and finish a couple beers to swallow the news of becoming a parent would be so consumed by our girls.

He loves and cares for them like no one else ever could. If you tell him the story he laughs and denies it was such a big thing to process, probably because we couldn't imagine our lives any other way.

Happy Father's Day to the best daddy I know! Our girls and I feel very lucky to have you.

Over Worked Under Paid

I'm feeling unappreciated these days.

If my husband comes home from work and promptly leaves to golf one more day this week I may lose it.

Such it the life of a stay at home mom. People get so used to having things done for them they forget that clothes don't clean and fold themselves and that dinner didn't make itself and jump onto the table promptly at 5:30. I would love to know what it felt like to get up in the morning and take a nice long hot shower while someone else made my coffee and my lunch. I would love to sit down to a meal that I didn't make, didn't plan, or do the shopping for. I would LOVE to actually get off of work. You know, an actual end to the work day...at any point before 8:30 after fighting kids to sleep.

Life really isn't all that bad, just one of those days where I'm feeling sorry for myself and how 'rough' I have it. I think I'm going to order this coffee mug to sip wine coffee from on the days I need to wallow in self- pity before pulling it together and getting back to work.

House Hunting: Not for the Faint of Heart

Who would have known how emotionally exhausting house hunting would be? Surely not this girl. I thought to myself; you have no time restraints to work within, no limitations on the place in which you live (so long as it is no more than 40 miles in any direction from Kansas City), and a good sense of what you want in a home. This is going to be so fun and exciting!

Oh was I wrong.

Turns out the husband did not share in my enthusiasm of starting our lives in a new home anywhere our hearts desire, so long as it meant getting exactly what we want.
Turns out we would get a lot less for our money than I thought we would.
Turns out we did not have a good fit with our realtor.
Turns out the house we fell in love with has structural issues and we cannot purchase it.
Turns out breaking up with our realtor was a good choice, as our new realtor is patient in answering our questions and assuring us she understands our wants/needs and and will do everything she can to find us the perfect home.
Turns out I would eat my words on NEVER living in a split level home.

I had no idea how emotionally draining it would be looking at the same small handful of houses day after day as no new listings came up. I made matters worse for myself when I decided to look at a house out of our price range out of frustration.

Burnt out and ready to give up on the whole thing, there were couple things that happened to turn it around. We used a program through USAA that; 1)set us up with a realtor who better suited our needs, and 2) gives us cash back at closing. (Seriously, who doesn't love cash back??) We also learned about a Kansas first time buyer down payment assistance program that would make financing a home as a single income family much more manageable. After discussing with the husband our priorities in our first home we determined that property trumped aesthetics of the home and we found a house that suits our needs with a substantial amount of our wish list fulfilled as well.

We have made it through the agonizing wait after submitting our offer and were very lucky to have a great counter so we didn't have to do much haggling to get our needs met. We still have  to go through the inspection process and the loan closing where there may be more unexpected obstacles, but for now I'm feeling relieved to have made it this far in the process.

Looking back to February when we started this process, I would never have thought it would have taken this long or been so difficult. I should have listened to the warning,
"House hunting isn't for the faint of heart."

A Hiatus

It's been so long.

I feel like I have nothing to say and everything to say at the same time.

I took a little hiatus from blogging/social networking/anything of the sorts. Not only did I deactivate my Facebook account but I cleared my phone of recent calls and text messages daily and kept texting and phone talking to a minimum. A detox.

There was no profound moment where I thought to myself, "It's time to get back into the real world and nurture real relationships, not founded on posts and text messages," but, reflecting on it now, I think that is exactly why I did it.

It's been refreshing to not have every one's business in my face everyday courtesy of posts, over-sharing the happenings in one's life. The fact that people would type something, forever engraving statement, that they would never find appropriate to speak still amazes me. I didn't realize how much other people's problems actually stressed me out when I invited them into my world through these means. And I'll be honest, the judgement that poured out of me for every 'drunken selfie' picture I saw was more than I could contain.

Not feeling the need to haul my phone around with me all day and answer every call has been refreshing. Turns out I think I would prefer to have a house phone (gasp!) and when I'm busy, outside, or not home, not feel an obligation to anyone except myself and those whom I'm with. I did carry my phone with me when I left the house (I have small children so for safety reasons felt it appropriate), however, I tried not to answer it unless necessary while I was with other people and never when sitting at a table having a meal with someone.

It's been effortless to be in the moment and leave all of these things to the side. Being a stay at home mom who would constantly be on Facebook as a distraction from the mundane, I found it a little shocking. I was the one wanting to call my mother every time one of my children did some unspeakable thing (which is an everyday occurrence in our home) just because I wanted adult conversation and a break from those rotten girls.

I checked my Facebook account last night for the first time in a month and a half and after about a minute of scrolling I realized I don't miss it. I don't miss wasting countless amounts of time out of my life trying to keep up with the happenings in other's.

This may not be a forever thing, for all I know next week I can be drowning in posts, texts, and countless blogs, but for now this suits my life and I'm embracing it.

"It Was Boinging on My Fingers"

Mornings when daddy is home are always fun. He pretends he is letting me sleep in by retrieving our children when they awake and throwing them into our bed where he promptly buries himself under the covers and attempts to go back to bed.

These morning bed sessions usually have some pretty sweet stories of sisters loving so nicely on each other, mommy or daddy being smothered in kisses, or tales of elaborate dreams of castles and M & M's being told. Occasionally they go a little more like this:

A sleepy face Amelia crawled into our bed and snuggled deep under the covers between daddy and I. She rolled over and grabbed my face and kissed me only to quickly pull away and tell me, "Your breaths is stinky. You need to get them out of there."

Laughing and burying myself deeper beneath the covers I tried to close my eyes again.

"I got rid of my boogers," Amelia announced proudly.

"You did what?! Where did you get rid of them?!" I was wide awake now.

"They were in my nose and they were stuck in there and I couldn't get them out," she continued to tell her tale with the full arm-flailing, hand-talking glory.

"When that happens you get a tissue. You don't use anything else to get them out." I scolded. "When did you get them out?"

"I was just laying in my bed and it was boinging on my fingers," she announced, wide-eyed with her fingers making a pinching motion.

Sitting straight up in bed, I was determined to find out the placement of said 'boinging things.' There was no going back to sleep now, only the innate desire to run far from this booger covered child lying beside me on my pillow.

"Where are they now?" I asked.

Proudly Amelia opened her mouth wide and with both hands inserted her pointer fingers deep into her mouth.

"You ate them?!? Amelia Ann, that is disgusting!"

"Ok, sorry mom. I'm hungry, look outside it's morning. Let's get up."



May this story come back to haunt you, Amelia, as it will me when I lay down on my pillow tonight.